Entry tags:
FIC: Come Play With Me
Main Feature Part 2
Five years later
REVIEWS FOR JARAD PADALECKI’S MONDO MACABRE
“…From the masterfully rambling opening gambit, Padalecki’s talent for dialogue is evident.”
Jeff Dawson – Empire [UK]
“Former video store clerk Jared Padalecki’s directorial debut is a brutally funny, fantastically violent and supercharged introduction to his supremely distinct cinematic vision. I say distinct because, even though you can see evidence of his love for Bava, Argento and all those other low-budget giallo directors, this film is meshed so seamlessly with American culture that it transcends the genre to become a whole new beast.”
Peter Travers – Rolling Stone
“I honestly can’t remember the last time a movie got me so excited about the possibilities that could happen if you just got together a little bit of money, some damn fine actors, a few buckets of fake blood and some beautifully profane dialogue.”
Ty Burr – Boston Globe
“…[Padalecki] may have almost single-handedly rejuvenated the American independent film industry.”
Manhola Dargiss – New York Times
“Padalecki’s unique combination of blood-lust and black humor means that an otherwise small story about some Hollywood murders could become one of the most influential movies of the decade.”
Ethan Allen – Film Journal International
***
JARED PADALECKI INTERVIEW
MOVIE MAKER MAGAZINE talks to the director of new hit movie Mondo Macabre
By Jennifer M. Wood
Once upon a time nobody had ever heard of Jared Padalecki. When we hooked up with him, he had only just released his first feature to a handful of screens in a handful of cities. But since then something magical has happened. Fantastic word-of-mouth reviews have spread from person to person, critic to reader and so forth, about what a great movie this was, about what a great new talent this kid showed, about how hip and funny a film could be. Pretty soon this film was playing on nearly every big screen in the western world and even a few outside of that. For a movie that only cost $3 million to make, it is doing pretty good.
Gigantic in personality as well as stature, the young Texan is as amusing as you’d expect but what you might not know is that he may well be the latest contender for the title of Nicest Guy In Hollywood.
What were you thoughts when you first finished your script for Mondo Macabre? It’s not your usual movie fare?
That’s so weird, I mean, because for me it totally is. I grew up watching horror flicks and that kinda mutated into seeing all these weird and wonderful movies from around the world. Actually, compared to them, mine’s pretty tame. There’s no killer fungi or cock monsters for a start. But, I guess, I knew this one was good. I’m not saying that to be big headed because I’ve written plenty of scripts where at the end all I could say about myself was that I stunk. But this one just felt right, y’know?
It’s quite a big step to going from having a script to having Michael Rosenbaum pick it up and decide not only was he going to star in it but he was going to help produce and finance it as well. How did that come about?
Oh man. That’s such a cool story, although I’m only telling it now because I know the people involved have talked about it to the press recently. My buddy Chad, who’s the main producer of the film, was going out with this girl and then suddenly he found himself being arrested because it turned out she was only seventeen. He hadn’t touched her, so that was all good, but while he was in lock up he met this drunk dude, Dave, and the two of them became tight. So anyway, Chad went to one of this guy’s parties and Mike was there because his ex-boyfriend used to be roommates with Dave. So Chad got completely drunk, touched Mike up for his number and stuff and generally acted like an ass according to all accounts. But it worked because when I sent my script to Mike he totally remembered Chad and thought he was funny, so he gave the script a go. He called me back two days later to say that he wanted to do it and the rest was history. It was actually Mike, with Chad’s help of course, that got all the funding arranged through his contacts, which was amazing because I’d been sweating like a whore in church when worrying about that. He also got Tom Welling involved. I think he wanted to impress him as they’d only just started dating at the time.
Was it an easy process to get the film made after that?
Yeah. I mean we did it in 30 days, which is pretty quick. In fact the only delays we had were caused by all of us having hangovers from hanging out too much. I’ll tell you, Rosenbaum is an insane party monster.
Once the film was completed, you took it to the Sundance Film Festival. How quickly did it get picked up?
To be honest, that whole thing was a bit of a blur for me because I was pretty freaked out. Chad’s theory was that if we “acted like cock-teases” and showed the film to everyone, before accepting offers, we’d do pretty good. And much as it pains me to say it, he was right and we got a ridiculous amount of money from Miramax. I think that was all done in about a week.
Your film is pretty violent. Were you ever asked to tone it down?
No. I mean, Chad and I grew up together so we have exactly the same film tastes and he was one hundred percent for the gore. In fact, I know he wanted me to put more in. Rosenbaum just found it funny so there were no problems there. Tom was a bit more squeamish but pretty early on I had him and some of the other cast members, like Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia, over and showed them some of the Italian movies that inspired me and they completely got it. Miramax didn’t ask for any changes, which was cool because I don’t think I would have done it.
You’re film is very dialogue heavy and full of pop culture references. There’s a particularly long scene between Tom and Mike’s characters where they argue over their favorite Jensen Ackles movie. Is there any significance to that or any of the other references?
I’m not sure how to answer that. Sure they’re all significant, at least to me and probably to my buds back home. The Jensen thing, well, that’s an argument I often have with Chad. We’re both huge fans of his. When I was working at the video store, we’d both get so excited when a new film he was starring in would arrive. And not just because he’s so ridiculously good looking, but I think he’s a truly amazing and under-appreciated actor. I think we disagreed because I had a huge crush on him so maybe I favored the films where he wore less clothes and Chad always liked the ones where he’d get revenge for something by fucking shit up. Maybe by putting his name out there two things will happen. One is that people might go back to watch his movies and find out about him – which y’all definitely should. And two, maybe his agent will contact me because I so wanna work with him. The other things are in there for the same reason. I love kung-fu films and all the old drive-in classics and I want to share that with the other movie geeks. It’s my tip of the hat to them and I think there’s more of us out there than people realize. Hah, and maybe I’ll convert a few more.
You didn’t come out as being gay until after the film was released. Was there a reason for that?
I guess I just didn’t want it to be an issue when people were reviewing my film. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about being gay, but in Hollywood, as soon as you say you are, you get this label of New Queer Cinema attached to your work and this happened to directors like Gregg Araki and Todd Haynes and so they all get lumped together no matter how different they are as filmmakers and I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted to know what people thought of my film, not my sexuality.
Have you got anything planned next and can you tell us about it?
Yes and no. Nah, I’m joking. I’ve just finished my new one which is a ‘gangsters verses gangsters’ thing but in actuality, deep down, it’s a samurai type movie and I think I may have included the highest gun count ever known on screen. Also I’m writing this very cool script at he moment that’s like those really gritty and nasty 1970’s revenge movies like They Call Her One-Eye or I Spit on Your Grave, except this one’s about the boys getting hurt instead. I’m an equal-opportunity on-screen killer. But the other day I managed to write a training montage into the script and it absolutely made me laugh, so it probably won’t end up all that dark. My assistant, she reads my stuff as I go along now, was all like ‘Jared, why’s an old Chinese man suddenly popping up in the story’. She definitely didn’t get it and was just looking at me like I was crazy because the idea just made me laugh so much I snotted out my nose. But I think that is a story where you had to be there or, y’know, be me.
***
“Good afternoon. Jared Padalecki’s office. How can I help?”
Once Jared had heard his personal assistant pick up the phone, he tried to get his mind back into his script. He was so close to finishing, but it was driving him nuts that he just wasn’t getting the closing beats.
He gave up trying to concentrate and instead listened in on Sandy, who was making these weird squeaking sounds at whoever was on the other end of the line. God, he loved that girl. In a totally platonic way of course because he was all about the cock.
“Uh huh…Okay…Sure. Just let me see if he’s available. I’ll put you on hold for a minute.”
The sound of clomping heels could be heard as Sandy McCoy, tiny office genius, jumped off her seat and practically catapulted herself into Jared’s inner sanctum.
“Jared. Jared,” she shouted as she maniacally signaled for his attention, which was just odd, as he was looking right at her. “I’ve got Christian Kane on the phone for you.”
“Who? Can I just call him back later?”
“Jared, I’ve got Christian Kane on the phone for you, “ and here she left a dramatic pause, “Christian Kane who is Jensen Ackles’ agent. You really want me to tell him to ring back another time?”
“What? Fuck! No. No. I’m good. I’m ready. How do I look?” Yeah. Jared realized his supreme-idiocy the minute the comment had left his mouth and Sandy started laughing at him. “Whatever…Just put him through”
Jared tried to gather himself as Sandy headed back to her desk to put the call through. ‘I am a professional. I am a professional. I am a professional’ went through his head, mantra style, in an attempt to calm himself down. Of course it completely didn’t help once the phone on his desk bleeped. Once. Twice. Three times. A big deep breath and finally Jared was able to pick up the receiver.
“Hello.”
“Jared. It’s me Sandy. I’m doing this properly. Pretend I’m announcing him.”
“Er…Okay.”
“Great. I’ll put him through.”
“Hello. Jared speaking.” Good job sounding calm, he thought as he mentally patted himself on the back.
“Hey,” came a low Southern drawl from the other end of the line. “I guess the lady I spoke to told you who I was. I hear you wanna work with my boy.”
“Your boy?” Jared questioned even as he felt his heart drop. Which was stupid. Okay, so yeah, he knew from an interview years back that Jensen liked the man sex, but that did not mean he was free and single and that once Jensen met him again he would fall in love with Jared, adopt third-world babies with him and live happily ever after. Jared knew that wasn’t going to happen. Honestly. He did. So he shouldn’t be disappointed to hear Jensen was involved. After all who could resist that perfect and wonderful face?
“Jensen. Don’t pay it no mind. Just a turn of phrase ‘cos I’ve pretty much looked after that kid since he was just into his twenties.” A low chuckle followed this. “You better not tell him I called him that.”
“Er…Okay?” he managed to get out while his mind flopped in relief.
“So…um…to get down to it, I’ve been hearing that you want Jensen for your next film.” It was a statement, not a question.
Okay. This was it. The moment Jared had been waiting for since he was a gawky teenager, sitting on his sofa watching ‘Devour’ for the first time. He was going to play it smart and he was going to play it cool. “I sure do. I’ve got two scripts on the go. One of them, this sort of gangster samurai film, is pretty much finished and it’s going to be the next one I shoot, and it’s got a role that I think would be perfect for him.”
“Okay.” Chris hesitated before he continued. “But you know he’s a little bit older now. He doesn’t look the same as he did in the films you saw. A few little crinkles on his face and stuff, y’know? So if the role’s for a pretty young boyfriend or something…”
Jared jumped in, eager to put an end to the assumption that Jensen’s part would be that of some kind of sex-kitten houseboy. “No. No. You got it wrong. I think Jensen would be perfect for the lead role. The pseudo-gangster part. The character is like a samurai, y’know, all heroic and moralistic, it’s just that he’s poor so he’s had to work for these bad guys as they’re the only ones who’d have him, but they’ve finally crossed a line and now he’s got to take them all out. I think it’ll only be even better if he looks a bit older and more rough around the edges.”
“Phht. He’s still a bit too pretty for that to be the case. But the lead you say. That’s pretty cool. You know he’s a damn fine actor, just hasn’t gotten great chances to put those skills to use.” Chris mused, possibly realizing that now wasn’t the time to do anything but big up his client, seeing as Jensen hadn’t been in any movies for at least a year. Jared was starting to think that that lack of good roles may have something to do with the agent rather than Jensen. But Jared was the kind of guy who had faith in people’s innate goodness, so he was going to get to know the man better before he started thinking the worst.
“Well, why don’t I have my assistant courier you a copy of the script that we’ve got at the minute, you and Jensen take a look at it and then, maybe both of you could come in next week to talk with me about it?”
“That sounds great.”
“Excellent. I’ll pass you back to Sandy who will take your details and arrange everything. It was nice to get to talk to you about this.”
“Yeah. You too, man. Thanks”
Ten seconds after Jared had patched the call back through, he was jumping round his office like a lunatic and desperately trying to smother the whoop of complete and utter success that was threatening to break free from his throat. It was only when Sandy popped her head round the door to give him two thumbs up did he let it out, his fear of Chris overhearing now longer an issue.
“Best. Day. Ever.”
***
Jared was feeling ridiculously nervous. And slightly uncomfortable in the clothes that Sandy had helped him pick out the night before, where she’d made Jared demonstrate what felt like his entire wardrobe catwalk style while she sat, laughed at his collection of pink shirts and ate all his ice cream. They’d eventually decide on a smart yet casual balance that was supposed to say ‘yes this is a business meeting’ but also ‘relax, dude, I’m just a good ole Texas boy like you’, but at the minute he felt more like he’d opted for ‘hi! I’m a gigantordork, would you like fries with that today?’.
“Jesus,” Chad snapped. “Stop fidgeting, you freak. You’re making me nervous.”
“I don’t understand why you’re not freaking out anyway. You’re just as much of a fan as I am. You can’t tell me you’re completely cool with this. That you’re not feeling that little flutter in your belly…”
“Yes. I am,” Chad admitted while casting a pitying look at Jared. “But I don’t have the added pressure of wanting to get so far in his pants I’ll never come out again.”
Jared was interrupted from trying to think of an appropriately witty comeback by the sound of a loud beep from the intercom system, followed by Sandy’s tinny voice announcing, “Mr. Padalecki? Mr. Kane and Mr. Ackles are here to see you”.
After freezing in shock for a moment and then recovering thanks to a quick jab in the upper arm from Chad, Jared managed to press the buzzer back and get out a “Thanks Sandy.”
As he dropped into his chair behind his desk, Chad went and opened the door, calling out a friendly, “Mr. Ackles, Mr. Kane, It’s great to meet you both. I’m Chad, I’m the producer of Jared’s films. Come in, both of you, and grab yourselves a seat. Can I get either of you guys a drink?”
Jared heard the quiet “Coffee would be great, thanks” just a few seconds before the person that had uttered them entered the room. Christ! Jensen Ackles was still one of the most wondrous looking people that Jared had ever seen. Sure, he’d aged slightly, but the youthful beauty had transformed into something deeper and stronger and because of that, his looks were now possibly even more cruelly captivating. Fine lines were etched around wide jade eyes, framed by the longest eyelashes he’d ever seen. Full, pouty, almost feminine lips were contradicted by scruffy looking stubble, which just did something to Jared. The lithe body had filled to a broader, more masculine shape and…Jared needed to stop drooling before either of the men thought he was Jared’s slightly retarded brother or something.
He just needed to keep remembering that he was in control here, they simply believed him to be a royal film geek and not president of the ‘Jensen Ross Ackles fan club’, which he wasn’t by the way. Sure he had once joined, but that was years ago and it was most likely that, as he had never renewed his subscription because he couldn’t afford the $20, he wasn’t actually still a member. This brought him back round to just being the super cool film director well known for his love of obscure films. The internal motivational speech seemed to work well and Jared was able to bring himself round to the other side of the desk, only just now noticing the other man that had stepped into the room.
“Hey y’all. I’m Jared. Mr. Kane,” he said while proffering a hand. “Nice to meet you in person.”
“Likewise, but call me Chris,” came back the drawled voice of the other man, who was really short Jared thought, but nice looking in and of himself but when he or, frankly, whoever, stood next to Jensen, would always look a little bit unfortunate. They shook hands and Jared turned his attention to Jensen, again introducing himself and getting an almost shy reply in return. Was it wrong to notice that Jensen’s hand fit in his so nicely?
Finally they all managed to find their seats and after Chad had brought in everyone’s drinks they stopped the small talk and did some read throughs of key scenes with Jared playing all the other roles that weren’t Jensen’s. Jared was truly excited with how well it all sounded even taking into account his own ham-fisted attempts at acting. They then got down to discussing the characters and story.
“So, I was nervous when Chris told me to read the script and think about the main role,” Jensen said softly, looking down at the rolled up paper clenched tightly in his hand. “But, it’s a great role Jared. I like that the character is so complex and has all these issues on morality that he’s working through. Like where he’s learning there’s not just good and bad, but shades of grey in between and seeing where he fits into that and also where he actually wants to be.”
“Dude! Its so cool that you noticed that.” Jared enthused verbally, while mentally doing a mental high five at Jensen’s astuteness. “In my mind it’s absolutely about a man looking for his own redemption and not just judging everyone else.”
Jared was beyond thrilled to discover that when Jensen had stopped being so nervous and had relaxed a little, he had interesting and thoughtful insights into the character Jared wanted him to play, well beyond what was written on the page. What was also nice was that the more they discussed and Jensen understood that he was doing good, the more his eyes would lift from his lap to focus on Jared or the other people in the room. Of course it was at that point that Jared noticed that Jensen was currently aiming his eyes, in this cute little squint, at a place just over his left shoulder.
He was about to say something when, oh good lord, Jensen reached into his pocket, pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on his face. And if he thought Jensen was adorable before, then this was the highest pinnacle of adorable things ever seen. Cuter, and more tempting even, than puppies or even a bag full of candy. But then Jared realized what Jensen was attempting to see and then it was his turn to go red. Ooops. He’d totally forgotten about that. Well, too late for bashful now, he thought as he willed his embarrassment back down and pulled his bravado forward.
He turned round, lifted the small framed picture of the wall and passed it over to Jensen.
“We…We’ve met before?” surprise colored Jensen’s voice revealing a little hint of the Texas twang under the carefully controlled speech.
Chad snorted and all sets of eyes in the room swiveled to him. “I thought everyone knew about how Jared and I were the geekiest of the geeks in all the land. No?” he questioned of the blank stares he was getting. “Okay. Well, we went to a convention thing. Y’know with meet and greets and interviews and stuff. Anyway, you were there Jensen. Good times.”
“Yeah,” Jared chimed in with a self-effacing snicker. “This was snapped just as young me proclaimed I was gonna write you a movie.”
“Oh! I’m…” Jensen muttered quietly, “Those weren’t my best times. I don’t really remember. I’m sorry.”
“Son,” Chris said as sharply as the drawl would allow, “You got nothing to apologize for. You were young and stupid, but in your defense you were young and stupid.” He turned to the room at large. “Jensen had a shitty fucking manager when he was a bit too young to know better and ended up doing a few things he didn’t want to and that caused my boy to do some things for a while that he may not normally have done.” And here he mimed toking on a doobie. “If any of you have an issue with that, now is the time to speak up as I won’t have it coming back to bite him in the ass later.”
Hoo-kay. The little man was scary, but he would kick ass for Jensen and that was cool as far as Jared was concerned. With a sudden moment of clarity he understood why Jensen would go for someone who maybe didn’t know how to handle the business end of things, like selling and negotiating, but instead for someone who obviously cared for him. He wondered what kind of incidents of being forced to do things Chris was referring too and then had to wonder how he could feel protectiveness well up in his gut so strongly for a man he had only met twice. Besides, who hadn’t done a little pot now and then? Big deal.
“I want Jensen,” Jared decisively stated glad that no one but Chad knew the other meaning behind that statement. “For the film,” he clarified when Chris shot him another glare anyway.
“Jensen,” he continued, but more softly now, and turned to give his full attention to the man in question. “Okay, so this isn’t the script actually written for you. That’s long been consigned to things best not spoken about. But I genuinely am a fan of your work. Even when I’ve seen you in the crappiest of movies, you’ve been the one thing that makes them watchable. Chad and I have no doubt of your talent and no doubt that you’d be perfect for this role. So tell me. Do you want to be my leading man?”
And finally he drew a dazzling and genuine smile from the other man. “I’d love to,” he said.
***
After the excitement of the meeting, Chad took pity on the poor state of Jared’s frazzled nerves and took him for a beer at their favorite local watering hole that was one block down from their offices.
Jared loved it because the booths were roomy enough for him to stretch out his whole body, and Chad liked it for the endless stream of pretty wannabe-superstar girls that sauntered through hoping to relax after another day of not quite making their dreams a reality or the more gold-digger types that were looking for anyone even vaguely famous to latch on to. Either way, there were lots of fine young women for Chad to practice being slightly sleazy with.
But not tonight. Tonight was about letting Jared wind down and getting it all out of his system. Even Sandy could sense that Jared needed some bonding time with the boys and made her excuses after just one drink.
“But Chad,” Jared whined as he lifted his fourth beer to his lips to take a hearty swig, “he’s so nice.”
Chad looked confused for a minute before he obviously thought what the hell and went with it. “Yeah,” he drawled sarcastically. “That’s just not right.”
“Yes,” Jared bellowed triumphantly. “I knew you’d get it. That’s totally why you’re my best friend ever.”
“Dude. There’s so no more booze for you tonight.”
“What? Why…Why would you say that Chad? Why ya gotta be so mean? Beer’s my friend? Not like you. Hello sweet hops.”
“And that,” Chad laughed, “Is why I’m cutting you off, sasquatch.”
“Whatever,” Jared replied with an airy wave of his giant hand. “I’m not listening to mean you. Bring back nice you. The nice you who got me these fine, fine drinks in the first place.”
“I thought you were complaining precisely because people were nice.”
“Not people. Just Jensen. I’m complaining that he’s nice.”
“And that’s bad why?”
“Oh. My. God. You don’t get it. You said you did, but you were just lying because you’re mean. I don’t think we are best friends anymore”
“Jared. Focus,” Chad enunciated clearly. “You are drunk off your ass and I have no idea what you’re talking about. If you want me to understand you’ll have to clearly explain it all to uncle Chad, princess.”
That made Jared crack up so much that the little beer he had in his mouth slowly found its way out via his nostrils. “Dude. That’s gross. Never ever call yourself uncle again.”
“Not as gross as you. Now wipe your nose and spill.” He said while handing Jared several napkins.
“Okay. Imma gonna work with Jensen. Jensen pretty. Now Jensen nice too. Crush’s gonna get worse. Sexual harassment. Lawsuit. Die of loneliness.”
“You’re such a loser,” Chad muttered affectionately. He patted Jared on the shoulder. “There. There. It will all be fine. You’re far too nice to go about molesting anyone, let alone Jensen. You’ll deal. Even if you do die of blue balls.”
***
Jared was able to keep Jensen out of the forefront of his thoughts for the next couple of months thanks to the hectic schedule of trying to get everything ready for shooting to start. It was a process he loved and loathed in equal measure.
The bits that were a joy to do were the final casting sessions where he got involved in making sure the right people got the parts from the bigger roles still left, right down to the extras, whom Jared was particularly fond of because often they were as excited as he was at the whole filmmaking shebang. He also loved the other creative bits, the endless character discussions with wardrobe, the talk of blood coloring and splatter with the effects teams, thinking about weapons with the prop department, discussing rat-hole dive bars with the scenery guys, looking at locations, discussing storyboards with his cinematographer and so on.
The bits he loathed though…Christ they were dull. It was at these times that he truly felt blessed to have Chad, who for some reason, even though he was such an ass in his personal life, was remarkably good with other people at business meetings and Jared already knew of his ability to just get things done. He pretty much just sat down and tried to look like a tortured artist while Chad ensured that he had the right budget and that the studio would have zero creative input into the movie, including editing, and that no, he wouldn’t be taking notes from anyone on the daily rushes. Apparently, Chad once told him, these were the times when Jared’s inability to not be distracted came in handy as it stopped Jared from joining in and messing up any of the more delicate negations.
Of course that didn’t mean that when he finally got home at night and collapsed into bed completely exhausted, that his brain didn’t start to wonder from the minutia of his day to the direction of that perfect face. Even now that he’d gotten to know Jensen a little bit, it didn’t stop his hand from winding its way under his shorts to curl tightly around his cock. It only meant that tired and sated and covered in his own sticky come, he’d feel a faint flush of guilt going along with the nostalgia at having done the very same thing back when he was a fresh faced teenager in San Antonio, curled over himself in his childhood bed while trying not to make any noise so his Mom wouldn’t come in to check on him.
***
Finally they were ready to start the shooting process. This was what Jared had been waiting for and he felt ridiculously excited. The sheer joy of doing something creative that he loved while surrounded by people doing the same thing. And they were all artists. From the lighting team who worried about exposures to the sound guys who wanted to hear every word, they all took as much pride and joy in their work as any of the actors and anyone who said otherwise was an idiot. That was why Jared had hired them all, because he wanted the best, people that would be as passionate about the movie as he was.
And today was the first day of getting all the cast and main crew members together, making sure they were all comfortable with their roles and with each other and getting a good start to the collaborative process. Yeah he was in charge and yeah he had a vision, but it were these people that would make that come to fruition and they deserved an enjoyable, relaxed and nurturing environment to do that.
“So, hey everyone,” Jared stood up and flashed a large, genuine smile at the assembled group before continuing. “Welcome to the script read through of The Blood Spattered Samurai. I got to tell y’all, that I’m pretty excited about today. For those of you that don’t know me, which I think is actually none of you but it seems like a good thing to do and my momma was all about making sure I had the best manners, I’m Jared Padalecki, writer and director of this little film. I thought to get the ball rolling we could each introduce ourselves and say what our role is. Chad, you want to start and then we’ll just go clockwise round the table?”
“What’s up bitches? I’m Chad and I’m the executive producer.”
“Mike Rosenbaum. I play Detective Herschell West.
“Tom Welling. Detective Bava.”
“Hi. Alison Mack. I’ll be your cinematographer.”
“I’m Wentworth Miller and I’ll be playing Caesar”
“Jensen Ackles. Green Eyes.”
Jared’s eyes didn’t manage to move on from Jensen. Christ, he looked so adorable. All shy and hunched in on himself. Jared wanted to run over and wrap him in a big hug until he held his head up and believed that he was just as good as everyone else there. He let the other introductions wash over him as he tried to stare his fill so he could concentrate on the rest of the day.
His musings were swiftly interrupted by a sharp pain in his ankle and an awareness of a hissed “jackass” being aimed at him from Chad.
“Dude, what the fuck?” he whispered back.
“They’re about done and you’re still gawping.”
“Oh.” He quickly looked and saw that Sophia Bush was just about to introduce herself and that she was the last one. “Thanks man.”
“That’s why I get paid the big bucks.” Chad said looking far too self-satisfied.
Once the introductions had finished, Jared spoke again. “Excellent. I know you are all going to be fantastic. This morning we’re just going to read through so I can get a feel for how the dialogue sounds when you say it and hopefully you actors can all start to see what works for you. Okay. Any questions? No? Cool. So I guess I’ll start. Act one. Scene one. Inside a large warehouse. Day. Around one hundred men in black suits are lying around the floor in various states of dismemberment. Green Eyes is hiding behind a crate, holding two guns John Woo style and is covered in blood. Hershall and Bava enter the warehouse from off-screen. Okay, Mikey, Tommy, over to you two.”
“Man. This is some seriously mother-fucking fucked up shit. I don’t think I’ve seen this many fucking corpses since that scene in that zombie movie we watched. Y’know the one I mean. Where the annoying fella gets his eye gouged out on the piece of wood.”
“Dawn Of the Dead?”
“Shit. No. That’s one of those big budget, good ole USofA movies. This was one of those cheapo low budget Italian rip-off remakes. Zombie Grave Robbers? No. Zombie Flesh Feaster? No, that’s not it. Doesn’t sound right.”
“You know that you’re being fucking annoying, right?”
***
By the time the read-through was finished, everyone was clearly exhausted. Even though they’d had a great time and had lots of fun playing about, when it came down to the serious business these guys put their heart and souls into it. Jared was pleased with all of them and told them as much, loudly and several times, before he sent them all home for the day.
“So again, thank you. From the actors, I’ll see Mike, Tom, Jensen, Wentworth and Kristen tomorrow, bright and early, for rehearsals. From the crew, I guess Ali, Chad and Steve, you guys need to be there too. Awesome. I’ll see everyone later then. Jensen, can I borrow you for a minute before you head out?”
“Okay. Sure.”
Jared noticed the other man looked nervous as he approached and Jared mentally slapped himself on the head as he realized that he sounded a bit like a teacher asking the bad kid to stay behind after class.
“Nothing bad,” he jovially said to the other man as he got near, anything to wipe the apprehension off his face as quick as possible. “I just wanted to say that you did great today. I know my writing well enough to know all its good and bad bits, and sometimes, I guess, I’m too busy being funny or cool to get to the emotion underneath, but hearing you today, well you really stepped up to the plate for me. So thanks, man.”
A flush of pleasure stole across Jensen’s cheeks as Jared was talking and that almost derailed his train of thought completely. It most certainly wasn’t fair that Jensen could keep popping up with these wonderful mannerisms and not expect everyone and their dogs to leap on him proclaiming their undying love.
The “Thanks,” that came back was mumbled, accompanied by a deepening of the blush and a look down, while his hand rubbed, tiredly, over his face. “But it is all there in the script.”
“Ha. You’re a crappy liar but I appreciate the attempt dude. Anyway, I’ll let you get some rest for tomorrow. See you then Jen.” Without thinking about it, Jared clapped Jensen on the shoulder, a normal man-to-man thing he did with most of his friends as a goodbye gesture, oh the joys of muscle memory, not even noticing the new name he’d just bestowed upon Jensen, because suddenly he was only aware of a warm, soft but hard shoulder under his hand. A tingle started in his belly and he whipped his hand away. He fervently hoped that this time he wasn’t the one giving anything away by going red, but he knew he couldn’t help the smile that was currently swallowing his face whole.
And it didn’t go away during the time their gaze held or while Jensen mumbled a brief goodnight. Not even as he watched the other man walk out of the room and head to wherever it was he was heading off too.
***
And, if that night Jared went home and dreamed about more of that body under his hands, to match shy smiles and soft green eyes…well, that was no one’s business but his own.
***
“Okay. Boys and girls. Welcome to day one of rehearsals. The studio is only going to pay for us to do this for a week so we need to pull our fingers out our asses and do as much as we can. So yes, those of you who have worked with me before know that this is when I turn into one tough son of a bitch and…”
His motivational speech was cruelly interrupted by the sound of laughter. Jared whipped his head round to shoot a glare at the offender, but got distracted from forming the expression when his eyes were faced with the source of the noise and that it happened to be Mike and Tom, collapsing on each other, in the middle of a bout of hysterics.
“And, what, exactly, do you two find so funny?” He said impatiently, with hands on hips and a foot tapping for effect. And yeah, it was effect. Jared was far too easy going to get worked up about a process that was meant to be creative and fun. Didn’t mean that these bastards had to know that though.
“Dude.” Mike managed to get out between fits of girlish giggles, and don’t think Jared wouldn’t be mocking him about that at some point. “You’re like the least intimidating guy ever. You’re a freaking puppy. I don’t know why you bother with this.”
Tom whispered something into Mike’s ear and they both laughed a little bit harder. “Tommy. You’re a genius. And so right, I might add. It is a totally lame Severus Snape impression. Hey, Jared, where’s your wand?”
“Fine. Very funny you two. Okay, you can stop laughing now.” Seeing a smirking Chad out the corner of his eye, Jared turned and made desperate ‘help me out’ eyes at his friend.
Waiting a second longer than was polite, Chad finally stepped up. “Shut it,” he bellowed. “And now that I’ve got everyone’s attention, we can get on with it. I know its fun to mock Jaredzilla here. Hell, I do it all the time. But he’s right. We’ve got a week. And don’t think for a minute he needs this time. He doesn’t. It’s for you bitches, so that he can make you look as good as possible onscreen, instead of like the whiny little girls you are.”
His beady eyes focused on the assembled crowd as he spoke. “So to start we’re going to be looking at different key character scenes. Wentworth and Kristen, you’re gonna start with the fight your characters have. Page 73 in the script. Mike and Tommy, you’re spending some time with a detective we’ve got coming in today. Hopefully he can show at least one of you how to look slightly masculine while holding a weapon in your hands.”
“Hey!” shouted an affronted Mike.
“Suck it up. Jensen you’re doing general character stuff with Jared. Alison, do you just want to do what you want?”
“Yeah. Thanks Chad.” Allison smiled as she turned to address everyone assembled. “I’m going to split myself between all of you this week. I just want to get a feel of how your faces look on camera and such. So feel free to ignore me while I bustle round.”
Everyone then split off into their various groups, with a very excited Jared leading Jensen over to the food table.
“Always best to start on a full stomach,” he advised as he packed an astounding amount of different foods into a styrofoam container. Jensen cocked an eyebrow and helped himself to a simple black coffee. “Don’t be such a smartass.”
Jensen laughed and indicated to a table. “We sitting here?”
“Yup.” Jared said agreeably as he grabbed a fork and started to delve into his food. In between, or sometimes during, mouthfuls and then seconds and thirds, the two men discussed every aspect of Jensen’s character they could think of. Jared was thrilled, not only with the ideas but also with how naturally and comfortably the conversation felt. And they didn’t just take it easy on each other or settle within the easy boundaries of politeness. It was a truly exhilarating discussion where ideas were freely shared. From high ideals and academic theories on narrative and genre to bantering and squabbling like brothers. It was, all in all, a great day’s work.
“So tomorrow,” Jared indicated by waving his hand around, as Jensen dived to protect his beverage, “Let’s start putting some of the things we’ve talked about into practice. D’you want to pick a scene and we’ll work on that?”
“Yo. You two. Dinner. My treat.” Mike bellowed, breaking up the intimate atmosphere that had settled around them. Despite the mood ruining that Mike had just done, Jared was certain that he had it pretty good with Tom and therefore had no sincere desire to cock-block him, in which case the dinner invitation was genuine and Jared’s belly gurgled in excitement.
“Dude!” Jensen exclaimed in only semi-faked shocked. “You just ate like…your own body weight in food. You can’t be hungry again?”
“Heh. That’s what you think. My Momma says I have a hollow leg or something. And no, not worms. ‘Sides, I’m still a growing boy. Not as tall as my brother yet.”
“But, you’re a freaking giant.” As soon as the words were out of Jensen’s moth, Jared could see that the other man had thought he’d gone too far in the familiarity stakes, as his face started to lose its color.
Not wanting to upset Jensen in any way, ever, that he could help, Jared quickly let the smile show on his own face. “Dude, you’ve no idea. I might seem like Jumbo to you guys, but in my family I’m kinda the small fry. Weird ain’t it?”
Jensen had been reduced to just staring at him. “…” His mouth opening and closing, in what Jared thought was a rather endearing expression and not at all like a fish moored on dry land. Ooh. Fish. Would that be on the menu?
“Mikey,” Jared hollered. “Where you takin’ us?”
“Nate’N’Als.”
“Where?”
“Don’t worry about it, big guy. All you need to know is that they serve very large portions.”
“Sweet.” Jared turned to Jensen. “Mikey always finds these out of the way places to eat, that none of us have ever heard of, but they’re always amazing,” he explained. “You are coming aren’t you?”
Jensen still looked a little bit shell-shocked, but he managed to gather his wits enough to say, “Sure.”
The minute Jensen acquiesced, Jared grabbed his arm and manhandled him out the building. Mike had somehow acquired a full sized van that they could, and did, all clamber into, and the party atmosphere only increased within the confines of the vehicle.
By the time they got to the restaurant, everyone was in fine form and Jared was pleased to see Jensen had come out his shell a bit more and had joined in with some tentative banter between a few of the other cast members.
The good mood and bonding continued over the meal, which Mike explained was traditional Jewish food. Most of the time, Jared had no clue what he was putting in his mouth - don’t think he hadn’t heard that joke before – Mike kept saying words that could have been blinkses or blitzen or something, but he was drunk and slurring slightly so that didn’t help any anyway, but it all tasted good and Mike was right, there was plenty of it. All in all, Jared mused, a fantastic time was had by everyone. It had looked like Wentworth was a little bit too eager to talk to Jensen, but he soon got put off when every time he tried Chad would interrupt and take over the conversation. Jared really had the best friends.
Not that those friends remembered, though, when they stumbled into the rehearsal space slightly worse for wear the next day and were summarily pushed and prodded back into work mode. After several coffees, of course, because he couldn’t be that mean. And, no, it had nothing to do with the happyhappyjoyjoy look that took over Jensen’s face each time he was greeted with the dark, rich aroma of the elixir of life.
And that was pretty much how it went for the rest of the week. Working hard during the day and relaxing together in the evening. Bonding and getting to know one another better. It was nice, Jared had thought and it showed that he could absolutely control himself around Jensen. In fact, the crush wasn’t affecting him at all. It wasn’t. No Sir. He definitely spent that much time with all his cast members thank you very much and, yes, he totally gave the rest of them that many supportive hugs. He was a professional, after all.
Yes. He told himself firmly for the billionth time, a professional. So what if Jensen was his idea of the perfect man. That didn’t mean anything. So they laughed together, talked together, started to hang out together. It didn’t mean anything. Right?
***
E!Online
Hollywood Party Girl
She’s (almost) always on the list.
BOYS NIGHT OUT?
Seems like Jared Padalecki has been getting close to an unknown male on the set of his latest movie. Rumor has it the two were seen being very touchy-feely at an after hours bar along with Hollywood’s first couple, Michael Rosenbaum and Tom Welling. A double date?
E!Online
Hollywood Party Girl
She’s (almost) always on the list.
BOYS NIGHT OUT PART TWO
It’s been confirmed by a source close to the celebrity director that the unknown male he’s been seen getting close to recently, is low-budget where-are-they-now film actor Jensen Ackles.
***
Oh please, Jared thought. Just shoot me. They were in week three of filming. Jared had decided to shoot in chronological order rather than location order, because actors were precious and he loved them and this made character flow easier etcetera etcetera, but today he was regretting that because they had a whole load of small but technically complex shots all in different locations, including outdoors. And that wasn’t even his chief worry. No, that was reserved solely for the fact that today was ‘Jensen in his small briefs’ day – thanks wardrobe - and possibly, therefore, ‘Jared comes in his pants day’. Gah!
He looked down at his script and the markers for the scene they were shooting, just to see if maybe he was wrong. But no. There was the montage sequence written plain as day. The black ink mocking him as it shone brightly on the paper.

Jensen came onto the stage and Jared thanked every deity he knew that he was covered pretty much from head to toe in a big, blue fluffy robe. He made his way over to his lead.
“Hey Jen. How you holding up?”
A rueful smile crossed the other man’s face. “It’s…strange. I know I’ve worn smaller costumes than this but that’s always been for shit things. With this, I dunno, maybe because it’s proper, but I feel very naked. Look.” He said opening his robe.
Fuck, Jared thought as he struggled to keep himself from both backing away or reaching out towards the half-naked man in front of him. Jensen was wearing tight black Calvin Klein trunks that most definitely did show up the curves. Jared could only be thankful that Jensen hadn’t decided to spin round to show him how they looked from the back. He tried to turn his thoughts to plagues and pestilence, in the vain hope of changing the direction of his blood flow.
Oh crap. Jensen was looking at him so expectantly. Was he supposed to say something? Now? Really?
“Er…They look like underwear. And you know, everyone wears them, except for slutty people. Slutty folks don’t wear them at all, but I do. And, hey, you do too. So kudos. To us. I mean. For not being whores.”
Jensen laughed. “Thanks Jared. I think you’re my favorite director ever, you always know what to say to make things easier.”
“Well, yeah,” Jared said, trying to hide his disbelief that Jensen had mistaken his awkward rambling for a comfort joke. “So, um, I guess you’re ready to roll?”
“Yup,” confirmed Jensen as he made his way over to the bedroom set and shrugged out of his robe. It was only once he was safely hidden away under the duvet cover, that Jared could breathe again.
“Okay. Quiet people,” Steve, the assistant director, shouted. “Act 2, scene 3, take 1. And…action.”
Jared watched through his monitor, knowing that there was no way on God’s green earth he could back away from that man.
***
It wasn’t just because Jensen was so good looking, Jared thought to himself. It’s just that they get on so well and Jensen knows, really knows, how to make him laugh. And maybe, Jensen has been looking at him too. He could swear that sometimes he felt the other man’s eyes on him. Not that he’s ever caught him though. Jensen had far too much ninja-like stealth and grace. He was like a cat. And besides, he got to touch Jensen. Like a lot. Pats here, hugs there, and not just casual buddy hugs but full on Padalecki-family-full-body-contact-bear-crushing-hugs and no one should ever get to be that close to something so wonderful and not have it completely. It was a tease. Or the supreme court’s definition of cruel and unusual punishment right there. No. There was nothing else to do. He was going to have to ask Jensen out and do it right that minute, before he lost his nerve and cried like a five-year-old who just had his best toy taken away.
God, once he had made his decision, Jared didn’t think he’d ever felt so nervous in all his years of existence. That feeling also wasn’t helped by the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about how the rest of his life and maybe any chance he had at future happiness rested on the outcome of the moment and…Oh, god, he was going to throw up any second. Deep breaths. That was all he needed. To keep taking nice long deep breaths.
“Jay?” Jensen questioned as he came walking over, “You okay? You’re looking kind of shaky there. Do you need to sit down?”
“No. I’m good,” Jared replied, surprised that he sounded much firmer than he felt and that he was able to look Jensen in the eye. “Hey, I was just thinking about…I know we’re um…Working together and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable and you can completely say no if you want to and it won’t change anything…It’s just that I have such a great time when I hang out with you and I’m pretty sure you have a good time too and I was just wondering if you’d like to do it officially with me sometime y’know? Like on a date. So…Er…What do you think?”
Jared continued to look at Jensen while Jensen stared back, his mouth slowly opening and closing as if any minute words would burst forth. But no. None came out and silence reigned. And it was the longest, most uncomfortable silence of Jared’s life.
Finally, when he couldn’t take it anymore because the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears was a little too much, he managed to croak out another “Jensen?”
That seemed to snap the other man out of it. He shook his head, as if he could physically clear his thoughts that way. It was so sweet. Arrgghh. No. Stop it.
“Um...Jay…I…I do like you, y’know. You’re nice and funny and definitely good looking and way better than some of the other losers I’ve dated, but I’m not sure…”
“No,” Jared interrupted the other man quickly before either his dreams could be crushed or he could be side-tracked by something almost inconsequential like how someone as perfect as Jensen could think he was attractive. “Look. I know it could be a little weird but I like you. And you like me, right?” Then he waited for the other man to nod, which he finally, and almost begrudgingly, did. “So lets just give it a go. No pressure. Just to see if we’re as compatible as we think. Maybe a nice dinner or something. I mean, you’ve got to eat right? So let’s do it together.”
C’mon. C’mon. C’mon. Get there, Jared thought as he put years of getting what he wanted into experience and aimed his best ever attempt at puppy-eyes at Jensen along with his least lecherous smile.
The other man let out a short huff of laughter on seeing this. “Fine,” he capitulated on a short exhale of breath.
Inner Jared cheered and did a victory dance. “Tonight? I’ll pick you up.”
“I’m not a girl, Jared.” Jensen said with a fierceness that surprised Jared.
He briefly wondered what that was about, but instinctively knew that now wasn’t the time. “I know that.” He gave Jensen an exaggerated and approving look over and, as intended, it served to lighten the mood a touch. “But I want the chance to impress you with my fancy yet ridiculous car. That’s got to give me bonus points.”
“Whatever,” Jensen replied. But it was definitely amusement coloring his features now and not the unhappy belligerence that Jared had seen a second earlier, so all was good. Phew, he thought. Who knew this dating thing could be such an emotional roller coaster and, to think, they hadn’t even got to that part yet.
“Cool. I’ll pick you up at seven, “ Jared said as he backed away because he wasn’t up for pushing his luck. “Fair warning though, I’ll be starving by then.”
Jensen, who had already witnessed Jared frequently wolfing down three or more helpings of food in one go, just laughed.
Index | Trailer | Main Feature Part 1 | Intermission | Main Feature Part 2 | Main Feature Part 3 | Lights Up In The Theater | OST - The Blood Spattered Samurai
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Also, I totally imagined Jared saying "Hello sweet hops" in a very british/shakespearean accent.
Detectives Hershall and Bava? Heheeee.
And the "Everyone knows Rob Zombie is the horror king" comment? Ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. You slay me.
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LOL. It was such fun being a dork and sneaking all my favourites in.
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I'm sorry, its 3 in the morning and I'm sleepy but I gotta finish this cause tomorrow I gotta study for a final exam that's the day after tomorrow and I can't study without reading this whole thing. Thus I'm crazy, babbly and hyper.
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I love this. I have had this conversation with friends and family members. Underwear is apparently a very shocking thing to wear and is open to debates worthy of the UN when it comes up in conversation.
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“Okay. Imma gonna work with Jensen. Jensen pretty. Now Jensen nice too. Crush’s gonna get worse. Sexual harassment. Lawsuit. Die of loneliness.”
Awwwwww. Now I just want to pat the nig guy on the head or something. And judging by Kane's defensiveness, and Jensen's reaction when Jared asked him out, I'm wondering if Jensen's got a rep for working the casting couch to get work.
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I'm wondering if Jensen's got a rep for working the casting couch to get work. Nah, this story is far too unicorn and rainbows for any angst like that. Only happy place things here!